Ugh. I have lost count of how many blogs I have started, then deleted, then re-started, then re-deleted. And I normally start each blog with a big idea of how this one is going to be different, that I have finally found my niche and I have all these intelligent things to blog about.
Well, ha! The truth is, I have NO idea what to blog about. My life is fake for the most part. Well not fake, but really, how many people can say that they truly live their lives for themselves? Honestly? Not many that I know of.
Amongst my circle of friends, we are all seriously lacking in one part of our lives, or another. Not necessarily the same parts, but none of use are truly "Notebook" or "Happily Ever After" happy. And I am certainly no exception to that rule.
I have three kids whom I adore, whom I would die for, dive in front of a moving train for, so there in itself is my first hurdle. I believe that when you have children, you kind of give up your own identity for, oh say, as least the first 18 years of their lives. Multiply that by 3 kids and I have just given myself at least 30 years of not really be me.
And then I have a husband. We have been together for 15 years, married for 12. That in itself is no mean feat in this day and age. Even my children's health nurse asked me if they were all his! When I said yes, she said 'wow, you don't hear of that very often these days'. Having a husband also means that you lose yourself, you find yourself making decisions based on what he thinks, or won't think, or will think, or will yell about! (He isn't a yeller, honest, but I am metaphorically speaking).
I can't remember the last time I walked into a shop, saw something, thought 'I love it' and just bought it. I always think 'can we afford it, what will the man say, will he like it, when will I use/wear it'. I am convinced this is a woman thing though, as I sure as eggs am sure he doesn't think 'what will the woman say when I go home with this drill'....
So, finally getting to some kind of point for my first blog post, the title of my blog, Living in a Plastic World, it has nothing to do with credit cards or how the majority of the earth's population have and rely on them, no, it is merely because I feel that my life is kind of a charade, a plastic scene with drop sheet backgrounds and scripts to play out. And of course with that goes the plastic smile.
